Missing . . .
It’s odd how missing something/someone can hit me out of the blue. I was just sitting at the computer playing a mindless game and suddenly got such a feeling of melancholy. I am missing my work friends. It’s been three years since I retired. I love my retired life, love the area I moved to, love being near my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren. I enjoy making my own schedule – sleeping in when I want, staying up until 2 a.m., making a habit of exercising three hours or so each day, getting my chores done at my leisure, spending lots of time with my husband – all very enjoyable.
I don’t miss work itself so much, as I manage to keep myself pretty busy. I do miss feeling useful. That’s a quirk of mine – I like to feel useful. I like to feel like I accomplish something that means something to and/or is helpful to someone else. Whether it was helping re-write policies or simply ensuring personnel got their rightful pay and benefits, I always felt I was serving a purpose – maybe bringing others some security and happiness. Now, I still accomplish things – my home is clean, cupboards stocked, my yard looks nice. My husband appreciates the little things I do, but somehow I’m not feeling so useful. Once in awhile, I’ll get the opportunity to proof read something as a favor to a friend or type something up . . . then I feel useful for a time and that is a good feeling to me.
I find what, actually who, I miss most are my work friends. The people who I saw frequently – those who came by my office with a smile, a hug, a simple “Good morning!” I miss them so much. I’ve come to realize that my work was the majority of my social life. I’ve always been a bit of a wallflower – tend to be quiet when among a crowd – I’m not comfortable socializing in general. The people at my work though – they became family over the years. I saw their children born, saw many of those children grow up and marry. I watched them go through personal struggles and losses; as they watched me. We gave each other comfort, strength, laughter, joy . . .
I gained a lot when I retired and moved away, but I lost a “family” who meant so much in my life. I’m missing them . . .